My Aim In Life Is To Have A Fully Functional Appendix By 35

Friends, readers, followers. Salutations. Apologies for the late post this week, I never seem able to remember to post on the same day each week. I'm sure none of you notice or mind. 

This week has been pretty go-od, the highlight was definitely yesterday though. 
I went with Matt and his brother Dan to Winchester to see our friends Sarah and Tom to complete a super-top-secret-but-very-exciting-project and it was completed successfully and you will be hearing about it soon. It is very exciting, and will enrich your lives remarkably. 
Prepare to be enriched. 
We also went out for dinner and I asked Sarah thousands of doctor questions because she is a doctor and all I know of doctoring is watching House. So she told us about the appendix, after which Tom declared he was aiming to force his appendix into functionality. Watch this space. 

This week also has seen me finally apply for a PGCE (a teaching degree for those of you unfamiliar with such jargon). I've applied to Bath Spa and Goldsmiths in our nation's capital, so I will let you all know if and when I hear that they actually think I could teach children stuff. It's very exciting though and now I know that teaching is what I want to do, I just want to plough on with it. Enough of this unemployment lark! 
My mother also bought an iPad and needs me to teach her how to use it, as if I somehow know haha. Hello online tutorials and emails from Joel, iPad user extraordinaire.


AND NOW! Here is a selection of wonder for you to be enraptured by.


ONE. 
Yesterday, I remembered a video that I watched pretty much every day in second year at uni. And then made all my housemates watch every day. In fact I loved it so much that my housemate Kelly bought me this:

It's had about 2 million views, and I think I account for about 500,000 of those. Watch it. And love it. Because it is MARVELLOUS.



TWO. 
Went on a bit of a baking spree this week; I'm waiting for some bananas to fully ripen and go rank so I can make banana bread. The recipe calls for sultanas to be soaked in brandy or something and you have to heat them up together and last time I totally didn't think about what would happen when the brandy got hot and it flamed up really high and SO nearly set my face alight haha. Thankfully my reflexes are superhuman and I was able to move quickly enough. Anyway, I made these whilst waiting for the bananas to ripen. I really like baking but the effort of having to specially buy ingreds is super taxing, but thankfully my cupboard was stocked enough to just roll into the kitchen and whip these up. Hello domestic goddess. 

THREE. 
I have had thousands of requests from all over the world for more coverage of Pin. She hasn't been too naughty this week but LUCY ATE MY SALAD off my plate. I left the room for like...2 minutes and I came back to find she'd eaten part of the salad I had lovingly prepared for dinner. What kind of cat eats salad? Pin has been mischievous in other ways though. Mainly right now, while I'm trying to write this. 
Look at where Lucy is sleeping:

Acceptable distance, minding her own business, just basking in my presence. 

Now look at Pin's journey, from leaping up onto my bed to where she is now:

Good morning. Just checking all's in order. 

Just...just looking over your shoulder actually. Not planning on staying. 

Yes I'm actually very interested in the World Wide Web, what's happening here? Can you explain?

Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and sit myself down.

FOUR. 

Great Mate Tom Price (of appendix fame) led worship at the Abbey last week and we did a really great new song called Beautiful Things by Gungor. It is such a lovely song and reminds me that nothing is impossible with God; even in a situation that seems hopeless, He can bring new and beautiful things out of it. Even if you're not a big fan of God, you'll love this song :D

FIVE. 
I am a huge fan of Charlie Brooker's articles on the Guardian website. He manages to be hilarious whilst simultaneously making very good points. This article about clubbing is one of my favourites of all time. "Really, why bother? Why not just stay at home punching yourself in the face?"  Go and read it because it is so flipping great.
HAHA.  


ENJOY. And be good. 

The Deer, Now Blinded, Stumbles Into A Ravine

Hellooo!
Heavens to betsy, who's getting excited for Winter? I. Am. I flipping love Winter. I've got no time for September, constantly not sure if I should wear a jumper or jeans and then it looks cold but it's actually hot, or vice versa. Multiple wardrobe calamities. Calamities...? Calamitii?Anyway, it's starting to get a bit chilly, we had a fire the other night it was that cold. But I don't think the situation is helped by the gaping hole in our hallway wall (YES it's still freaking there). 

Look at lovely wintry Malmesbury

This week has also been super Country-Living-esque in that I helped my mother make cider. It. Was. Awesome. We started off mashing up the apples with a huge hammer. I'm talking ginormous. Sledgehammer territory. But the apples weren't getting smashed enough so we put them in a blender. It was SO fun! Again, I took loads of great pictures but my bluetooth just doesn't seem to exist any more, it's so annoyinggg. Just imagine a little barrel with a big red stick in the top that you use to twist the top down super tight so all the apple juice gets crushed out a little tap. ALSO, had the worst experience with the first apple I picked up - there was a little gross bit so I cut it out and there was a LIVE. INSECT. living inside and it crawled out. I freaked out. Threw the apple, ran away. Urgh, even thinking about it is the worst, I feel like it's on me. 


AND NOW, on with the show!


ONE. 
I just have to pay homage to Bill Bailey. We watched his Part Troll DVD the other night and I rediscovered so many hilarious jokes. The man's a genius. This is the best bit of the whole show, you will love it. We went to see him a few years ago, it was so amaze. 



TWO.
I am so into Strictly at the moment, I know I posted about it before, but this series is sooo good! It's so good when there's someone on it that you hate. I mean..having a favourite is great and everything but the favourites are usually everyone's favourite which means they'll always get voted for so there's no point getting all invested in liking someone. You should get invested in disliking someone, it makes it way more exciting. Nancy Stupid Old Dell'Olio is still in, I can't beliiiiiieve she didn't get voted off on Sunday. There was this really weird, awkward bit after they danced where she was trying to make a joke about Bruce inviting her to his dressing room but no one got it and it was so cringe. She is so cringe! Aaah! 


THREE.
Watch this video. I'm not usually an dog-video kind of a person, they tend to irritate me coz cats are far more hilarious, so this one's not as good as the stupid cat one from a few months ago (I mean, that's the best video on the entire internet) but it is pretty good haha, mainly the voice that's done for the dog haha. 



FOUR.
I haven't stumbled for a while but spent an hour or so this morning viewing some great things. This is absolutely lovely, really beautiful but not in a lame girly way, it's accessible for people of all gender ;-)  Go and have a look for yourself


FIVE.
Goodness, it feels like those four went quickly and suddenly it's the end! This is a super girly on, soz gents. I bought some nail varnish this week from Model's Own after it was recommended by Kim on Sweet Monday, it is SO GREAT. It's quite expensive but it's so worth it, I could have got away with just one coat but two looks so much better. I bought Nude Beige and Purple Grey and they are SO beautiful. They're doing buy 3, save £3 so GO GO GO!


And so I leave you for this week. I'll leave you with a funny picture of a mouse that I rescued from Lucy which then sat right outside the door, taunting her with its continuing-aliveness. 

He Kissed Me..On My Bottom

HIIIIII!

Hahaha how funny is that blog title. It's from this hilare episode of IT Crowd. You should watch it. I don't actually know which episode though. A really funny one. 
How has everyone's week been? I have done work and arranged lots of things, like volunteering at Dorothy House and I helped my mum do her VAT return thing, which involved sorting through thousands of receipts and putting them in date order. Arghhh. 

Also, I helped my mum bottle pears HAHA. So domesticated. It was really fun though, we had to poach the pears and make this syrup to go all over it and we had to heat up the jars to sterilise them. It was very autumnal.  And I took loads of great pictures to show you but my phone is STILL crap so they won't send, it's so annoyinggggg. I'm blates gonna get an iPhone and then send thousands and thousands of photos to my computer, just because I can. 

I thought you'd be fascinated to learn of a new development in the hallway-damp-stalemate. Some builders came this week and knocked a huge hole in the wall and then put a cup (yes, a CUP) in the hole to catch some dripping water and then went away. Literally. My mum was like "....are you coming back..?" and then they came back a bit later and were all "yeah there's a leaky pipe in there so you need to dry it out". It's like an ancient stone-age pipe, pretty much been in there since before the house was built. Heavens to betsy. This is the current situation now. 

State of the art drip catching technology

So now you're caught up on the ridiculousness of my life, here is this week's TOP FIIIIIVE!


ONE. 
I think I mentioned that Matt and I had gone to Southampton to be in Luke Leighfield's video for 'Have You Got Heart?'  It was finished this week and it's ossum. Although....there was going to be this incredible bit with me and Great Mate Sarah and Luke's lady Ruth and it's not been included. Rude. But the rest of it is great, Matt gets some serious coverage. He's super famous. 

TWO. 
As I mentioned last week, Matt and I went to my dad's this weekend and we did get to experience the pool. It was a bit ments. Like...'we're in England..in October...in a pool...outside' haha. ALSO, the small brown dog got so fully excited and jumped in so many times, it was funny the first time but then it was a bit gross, y'know, like dog hair in the pool. Sick. We watched Strictly though, wooooo! I FLIPPING love it! It was a great opening, and there was one super cringe dance where Nancy Dell'Olio's costume completely scuppered her performance. Watch the it here, but get ready to cringe. It looked like it was going to be poo anyway, but oh man. 




THREE. 
As many of you will know, I am something of a House fan. It was a long-standing joke at uni that House was the only thing that sustained me. I just love it, I love Hugh Laurie probably too much. So I was all excited about the new series coming out on dvd coz I don't like watching stuff online coz it's all scraggy or you have to download it - effort. Anyway, I wanted to buy the dvds but was unemployed so had no spare pennies but NOW I've got work I'm going a bit mental on amazon haha. I can't WAIT for it to arrive!  Eeep! If you've never watched House, a) what is wrong with you?  and b) watch this and start getting involved. 




FOUR. 
TWO of my friends have managed to convince people to employ them this week after job hunting for months and months. I couldn't be more proud of them after trying so hard for so long. CONGRATULATIONS to you both!  It also gives me hope that being employed full time is not a mere pipe dream. Here's a funny picture of Lucy lying flat underneath my duvet as a prize. I know that you'll both appreciate this and that it will give you the courage to begin your new jobs on Monday morning. WELL DONE. 

FIVE. 
We're going to see Panic at le discoteque in Manchester in January! EEEEPPPPEEEEEPPPPPEEEEPPPPPPEEEEPPP!! I'm terribly excited. Oh my days, it's going to be so great. And then Brand New in February. Goodness me, what a delectable line up. 



Be good children, remember daily how blessed and fortunate we are.