This is not a real post. I am all over the place this week, working at the cafe (they reeled me in again) and childminding for a family at church.
One of the children fell over yesterday and bit its lip. There was blood. I was completely unhelpful and useless and busied myself with pointless tasks to avoid looking at the wound.
Anyhoo, I'll be back in a few days with a lovely long post with pictures and anecdotes, videos and jokes. I've been watching far too much Miranda this week; my thoughts are starting to sound like her voice.
Until then, enjoy this picture of me trying to feed Pin with a spoon.
Friends, countrymen, followers. Apologies for the late post, this past week has been a bit crazed. Firstly though, I must share some great news with you - I have finally been employed, and by two different people. It's not completely ideal as both jobs are part time so it looks like I still have to stay living at home for a while longer (groan) but it's very exciting to have two new prospects. Prospect One is working as PR Assistant for KHPR, which sounds very coooool but what it actually means is going with my mother to meetings and making sure she does what she says she'll do, answering the phone at home in my pyjamas, and opening all the post. I'm trying to make her buy an iPad though. For the business. Obviously. Prospect Two is to do with developing some ideas for my church, which I think will be very exciting. So yes, success on the temporary employment front.
In other news, I watched the final episode of Sex and the City this week, having watched all 6 series in utter bewilderment. I really enjoyed watching it, mainly coz it was so utterly removed from any vague semblance of my life but some aspects of it were very bizarre haha. I cried a lot in the last episode though, it was super emotional. Good job SJP.
And with that, it's on to this week's Top Five, woooooooo!
ONE. Last Thursday, I went with Great Mates Jess and JJ to a pottery painting place in Bath.IT. WAS. AWESOME. We got to choose what thing we wanted to paint, there was a little plate on each table to show you what each colour would turn out like, there were books for inspiration, oh my days it was just so so fun. It was also super chilled, we had nice little talks about lots of things but then got onto talking about 9/11 conspiracy theories haha. Also, the one day we choose to go, our old maths teacher just had to be there too. It was awk-ward. But we had very polite chats about university and being unemployed. We're going to go and collect our finished cups today, it's terribly exciting. Here's a picture of them post-painting, pre-firing. Mine's the stripy one. JJ's is on the right, she painted those flowers FREE HAND. She made Jess and me look rubbish haha.
TWO. This week, I also had the pleasure of returning to Exeter for the first time post-graduation, to have a bit of an explore with my friend Rosie, who is a fresher this year. It was a bit mental, it looks so so different. The whole of campus is being developed which means pretty much everything as I knew it has gone. Apart from the cafe I used to work in, that's still there! and looks the same! Hooray! I'm afraid I didn't take any pictures so you'll just have to use your imaginations. ALSO for any Exeter-goers reading this, the Ram is completely different. Nothing about it is the same. I can't even describe to you how different it is. I was spinning out all over the place. I miss the weird outdoor/indoor vibe.
THREE. On Sunday, Matt and I, plus a whole load of our grown up friends, went to Southampton to film a music video for Luke Leighfield. It was such a fun day and we got to see loads of great people that we hadn't seen for ages, including the wondrous Mr and Dr Price. It was a bit mental for Matt though, he played a soul band gig the night before, drove to Southampton that night, got 3 hours sleep, then got up to set his drums up on the beach HAHA. I just casually rocked up in the afternoon, did my bit, had a load of fun, and went home again. Super fun. Sadly, again, I didn't take any photos but you can go HERE and see the wrap photo. You should defo have a look.
FOUR. In keeping with tradition, Do Nothing For Two Minutes is a lovely page upon which I stumbled through StumbleUpon. It's very relaxing. But also, you don't realise how long 2 minutes is when you're sitting in front of your computer not doing anything.
FIVE. I realise this has been an incredibly wordy post, I'm sorry. I will try to take more pictures for the next one. Soz friends. I'll finish with two great videos so you don't feel too hard done by. One is the incredible Simon's Cat, literally my favourite videos of all time. And the other is one that my Great Mate Katie showed me, hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it is so weird and great.
Greetings, one and all. It's been a right old two weeks! I returned to the Mothership last Friday after 24 hours of travel. The travel was horrid, the trip was not. I'm not really sure where to begin. There's almost too much to tell, and you obviously don't want to be bored out of your tiny minds with long paragraphs and lame photos. I will definitely not be including multiple photos of landscapes - what is it with people and their holiday landscape photos? Or photos of stuff with no people in? That's great for the holidayer to reminisce over. On their computer. Alone. Preferably at night. But I do not care for pictures with no people in. Unless it's of something that is obviously incredible, like a big building or a funny animal. So yes, I will put a whole bunch of pictures up but will limit the landscapes to a mere 2 or 3. Just so you can be like "ooh that's nice" but THAT'S. IT.
I'm going to stick with the whole Top Five thing, I don't want to unsettle you all with too much change. As usual, these are in no particular order. You'll realise that when you see the last one (oooh, suspense!)
ONE. The whole point of going to Zim was to run Arise, Shine Zimbabwe! which is a children's conference (sounds lame, but think action songs, running about, team games, veggie tales, craft) at a church in the capital, Harare. It ran from 9-1 each day and in the afternoons we did fun tourist stuff. ASZ! was run by our team, helped by a whole load of local sunday school leaders. The children were split into two teams for a bit of friendly competition haha. It was absolutely brilliant. Exhausting though, and we went to bed at 8.30 every night haha, but it was really really enjoyable. The church in Africa is humbling and inspiring; their faith is stronger than anyone's I've ever met before and I found their emphasis on family spoke volumes to me. They were so grateful to have us, but we were grateful to be received; I was so aware this week of the presence of God - it was incredible.
Room at the church in which we did the conference
Selection of games in which teams competed against each other
RED. TEAM.
First morning.
Prayer hands
Children at Prayer Mountain
Playing ladders!
Team Fwends
TEAM.
TWO. We did lots of super fun things in the afternoons after the conference, including going to Snakeworld, the Lion and Cheetah Park, visiting a children's home, going to a craft place, and hanging out at the Timba's house where we stayed. It was bant.
View from house - landscape number one
They're going to get married one day.
We're not going to get married, we're just bezzie matezz
Children's Home
Snakeworld
THIS CHEETAH LOOKS THE SAME AS PIN. THEIR FACES ARE THE SAME. FOR A MINUTE I THOUGHT IT WAS PIN AND WAS LIKE "PIN, HOW DID YOU GET HERE?"
Night view from inside my room. Landscape number two.
Hanging out in mine and emil-y's room. Joel quizzed us on categories of our choice and we got Dairy Milk as a prize.
THREE. After the conference was over, we went to Chengeta Safari Lodge for 2 days, which we did last year. We were supposed to go to Victoria Falls but Air Zimbabwe were on strike. Joel and Emily actually did end up going instead of staying for the 2nd day at Chengeta, but more on that later. We did a game drive and saw loads of giraffes which was SO AMAZING. We saw a buffalo, loads of impala, some zebras!! and we also went to meet the elephants - the same one I rode last year. But we didn't ride them this year. We just looked at them. On the second day we canoed up a dam; the water was INCREDIBLE, totally flat and reflected everything so perfectly. We got out at one point and walked up a dried up river. Team Member Greg decided it'd be fun to swim in a massive rock pool and as he readied himself, he asked our guide if it was safe, to which he responded, "I have no idea, I don't even know how deep it is. There could be crocs". Greg jumped in.
Entering Chengeta
GAME. DRIVE.
YES. THAT IS A GIRAFFE. AN ACTUAL GIRAFFE. SMILING FOR THE CAMERA.
FOUR. Now, this section is reserved for some very exciting news. The trip as a whole was wonderful, albeit very challenging and very hard work. Not being able to go to Vic Falls was disappointing but I'm super broke so I wasn't too devastated as it would've been quite expensive. Howevs, Joel was pretty keen to take Em to see the Falls so they decided to fly down to SA and fly back up to Vic Falls. Turns out it's because HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE AND THEY ARE NOW ENGAGED, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Literally the greatest possible ending to the trip and the most exciting thing that has happened to me this year (apart from Sarah and Tom's wedding). It is so so great, I cried when they told me, and I cried later when I heard more detail about the proposal moment haha. Oh my DAYS, it is just the most wonderful and exciting thing. We had five hours to kill at Johannesburg airport so we heard all about it, drank champagne and Em and I bought wedding magazines and read them on the plane, much to Joel and his dad's bemusement haha.
Stoopid window behind ruined this incredible moment.
FIVE. Anything I put now will be a massive anti-climax. All I can really say is that I was so blessed to be able to go back to Zimbabwe, it was absolutely unforgettable, and I hope I am able to go again next year. I also hope I remember every single day how fortunate we are, and learn to trust God the way the Zimbabwean church does.
YES, the rumours are true, I am back in the country. The mammoth tasks of my post-zim laundry and unpacking have been tackled, and it's now on to finding me some form of employment. Watch this space for exciting anecdotes involving huge spiders, an incredibly amusing African pastor, one great team leader and Matipa, the funniest child of all time, who behaved like an old woman and had a laugh that no words can describe.
And I suppose I could share some photos too. Here's one to keep you going.
We meet again, oh faithful followers. Speaking of followers, if you come to my blog every week and read it, thank you so much, but don't be shy. Click 'join this site' and follow me officially. For all the world to see. There's nothing to be ashamed of; I am clearly an outstanding example of a human and you will only look better if you associate yourself with me.
This week's blog title is inspired by a spectacular performance by my animals. I expect that Pin commissioned blackmailed Lucy, the less-devious-but-more-mischievous one, into being her partner-in-crime, for I can only assume at least four cat-hands were required for such a feat. We have a problem with damp in one of our walls, and I'm talking a serious problem. As in...this is what I'm faced with every day.
Yes, that is fungal growth in my wall
Now, just to clarify, it's not like we enjoy the fungus. We are embroiled in some kind of damp-stalemate with the neighbours - apparently we share the wall, and their house is leaking into ours, but the great effort involved in mending the leak is too much, and there's no fungus over there so ours is still here and it keeps growing back, post-removal. Anyhoo, the damp is now spreading across the carpet and into the rug across the floor. So whilst inspecting the carpet, we folded up the big rug to inspect the damage beneath. We lifted it up and LO! There, revealed to us, was a completely flat, dead mouse.
I don't know if they killed it, and then hid it. Or put it under there alive and it was crushed. Or if it was alive, died and was crushed. Or if they somehow....flattened it...and then just put it under there as a treat. I wasn't even cross, I was merely in awe of the apparent strength of my genius felines.
Following such a thrilling anecdote, here is this week's top five for your perusal. I'm going to Zimbabwe on Friday (casual) so soak up as much pleasure from this as you can, because there will be nothing for a whole TWO WEEKS.
ONE.
I went down to my aunt's holiday house last week with my uni housemates. We did very little, but it was grand. I hardly took any photos because they would have been pictures of us napping, reading heat, watching How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, playing board games and eating loads. The ones I do have were taken during a particularly rousing game of Balderdash.
TWO.
Zimbabwe. Friday. Two weeks. Children's conference in Harare. We're also going to Victoria Falls, which the team did in 2009 and they bungee jumped there. That is definitely not happening this year. I've been busy this week preparing to go - I spent about an hour looking for skits for the older children. Who writes these things?! They are the cheesiest things I have ever read. Go here for the worst website probably of all time, featuring the strangest things ever written, including a skit entitled "be nice or else".
THREE.
I found another absolutely incred website through StumbleUpon (seriously, someone employ me). It is brilliant for anyone who's ever lived in halls or lived with me. It features people who don't really like outright confrontation but are more than happy to leave a passive-aggressive note. The worst ones are the ones that try to be friendly at the same time as being a d-bag. Like... "hi guys! sorry to be a total pain but could you pleeeeeeease put used teabags in the biiiiiiiiiin? It's totally unsanitary leaving them out and I'm just really really keen on being hygienic. Thaaaaaanks!!" But who am I to talk, I practically just described myself haha.
FOUR.
Following the joy last week's cat video received, I have decided to share another beauty with you. Anyone who has a cat will heart 'Simon's Cat'. I have only watched a few, and they are quite a recent discovery. This is my absolute favourite, HAHA it is so so funny. The cat's face is the best thing.
FIVE. Serious finish. Luke Leighfield posted this article earlier today; it makes for an interesting read - Why You Don't Care About The Deaths Of Millions Of People If the title is too depressing for you, watch Simon's Cat again and remember that at least there are cats in the world. Hooray!
Apologies again for the lateness of this post, but I do have a pretty good reason in that our internet...box...thing (router?) just gave up last night. I ended up completely livid and extremely passive-aggressive towards anyone that came near me. It was one of those last-straw type situations; on its own, I probably wouldn't have become so immeasurably furious, BUT I'd just got back from Sainsburys where:
1. a small ratty child kicked me and its mother just carried on gazing into her shopping trolley full of junk food
2. a car full of d-bags parked next to me and one of them had opened their door onto my car and left a lovely right-angled scratch and when I looked at it and looked at them, they stared back at me in a very threatening....'do you dare accuse us?' kind of a way.
3. as I returned home, carrying 3 bags of shopping-which-should-really-have-been-packed-into-4-but-I-didn't-want-to-admit-that-I'd-bought-4-bags-of-shopping-just-for-myself, the wind simultaneously blew my skirt up and my hair over my face so I was humiliated and blind.
And then I got home, and I fell over Pin. And then the internet broke. So I think, by that stage, my rage was justified.
The internet being broken was also a total timing fail in terms of the London riots and keeping up with coverage and contact with people. I have a lot of family living near Croydon, my brother is in South East London and I have friends living all across London. Last night was a fearful time, sitting glued to BBC News 24, watching entire buildings engulfed in flames, people's homes being destroyed in minutes, and wondering how on earth this had happened. It felt like I was watching scenes from a film, or coverage of riots in far away countries. It's a terrifying time, and I can hardly believe it's happening.
It feels, to me, kind of flippant to do this blog as usual but I am going to carry on as normal and hope that you enjoy this week's selection of goodies.
ONE.
Starting with a little light relief, this has become one of my favourite videos of all time. I found it this week and I laughed and laughed and keep going back onto it and laughing again. Even thinking about it is making me lol. HAHA enjoy it, it's magnificent.
TWO.
I spent last Tuesday at my delightful friend JJ's house, accompanied by other Great Mate™ Jess. JJ had made loads and loads of food for us, which we ate. She had bought cans of Pimms and Cosmopolitans, which we drank. She had put up bunting, which we admired. We lay in the sun all day, bemoaning our mothers, despairing over our unemployment, and making extravagant plans for the future. When the sun went down, we clambered into her hot tub and continued in deep, meaningful conversations, and didn't talk at all about drunken misdemeanors, weird old men, or the pros and cons of bikini waxing. Then JJ's neighbour approached us through the hedge and informed us that her "bathroom window was open" meaning she could "hear literally everything you are saying". We apologised, and giggled a lot, and carried on more quietly. Oh lols.
When I was at uni, I had the pleasure of living with some hilarious people who I am blessed to call my very great friends. We had various ongoing lols, as I'm told most friends do, including "lovely tender African bananas", "fried-day", "-bagpipes? -oh you twat" and "low is good". However, a topic soon arose that we bonded over, laughed over, and felt deeply moved by....
The horrendous, yet somehow compelling, writing of Jodi Picoult. We love to hate her.
Here is a wonderful website that lists some truly exceptional quotes from her books. I mean, we're talking "You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you?". And "The bottom line is that we never fall for the people we're supposed to".
This week marks a new chapter - creation of our own Jodi-esque quotes. The die was cast by Kate, who opened with "Our hearts beat to the left of our body and maybe that is the reason why sometimes the heart isn't always right"
Please feel free to submit your own. PLEASE.
FIVE.
Last but not least, I began a new book this week, entitled The Interpretation of Murder by Jed Rubenfeld. It's about a trip Freud made to America before he was super famous. It's all conjecture but it looks like it has the potential to be acceptable. At the moment, it's not that well written, with loads of random, unnecessary sentences thrown in, or clarifications that the author seems to feel require whole sentences of their own. The jury's out, I'll let you know the verdict.
Friends and followers, welcome to this week's outpouring. Writing this post has taken me lightyears; I had my travel vaccinations for Zimbabwe this morning and now my arms are basically useless. #middleclasswoes. Hepatitis B, you fiend.
Anyway, this week has been very enjoyable, highlights including a visit from my friend Jess, a lovely coffee and chat with my friend Rosie and then WOMAD all weekend, which combined some incredible music with some incredible friends. Good times.
I also went to see Horrible Bosses at the cinema - what a fiasco. We turned up, and three of us bought our tickets at the self-service machines, and then it sold out as the fourth person was trying to buy theirs. I had to do my very best smile and charm to make them refund the three of us, and then it was a dash across town to the other cinema. It was worth it though, there were lols a-plenty. Not as good as Bridesmaids though. You should definitely see that.
In other news, I'm reading a book at the moment called Song of Songs which follows a woman's life and is set against the backdrop of World War One, before, during and after. She's super upper class but trains to be a nurse and there are funny bits which would make a brilliant montage in a lighthearted rom-com, like where she gets to the hospital and doesn't know how to sweep. Literally, has no idea how to even hold a broom. And then her nail snags and she doesn't know how to cut her nails. And the food is crap and she's all like "Mama would not even feed this to the servants". Anyway, it's very good, but it's getting a bit harrowing, loads of characters keep dying, and the descriptions of some of the injured soldiers are a little too graphic. I think it'll take some time to recover from this one haha. But I'm really enjoying it, classic staying-up-mentally-late to keep reading it.
SO, onto this week's Top Five, brought to you by McVitie's Jaffa Cakes because I ate an entire packet last night.
ONE.
Has to be WOMAD. What a wonderful weekend. For those of you who are not local to Malmesbury, WOMAD stands for World of Music, Arts and Dance and is a festival that is held mere minutes from the town. Friends who've been to Glastonbury say it's like a tiny version of that. In previous years it's been either rainy or a bit cold, or patchy weather, but it was warm all weekend which meant lots of sitting on the grass in the sun, listening to some lovely world music. I also bought some mental harem trousers. Highlight for me was definitely Rodrigo y Gabriela, oh my days, they were absolutely incredible. It was SO busy though, the tent was rammed and we made the mistake of leaving a bit before they came on to go to the bar and then had to fight through while carrying pints. A big fat woman got really stressy and did this crazy wide dancing so that we couldn't get past, and then swore at us for trying to get round her, and she made me spill some drink on her with her flailing dancing and then got annoyed with me. It was traumatic.
Another high point was seeing my lovely friend Sally Archer perform on the Roots Architecture stage, but more about that later (oooh, suspense).
The whole festival was just amazing and I got to drink lots and lots of chai. I also saw my great friends Sarah and Tom who were fresh off their honeymoon and full of adventurous stories from their travels.
TWO.
Following last week's mention of the famine in Africa, I'd like to bring Matt Withers to your attention. He is an exceptionally talented graphic designer and is running an offer on his own-brand tshirt, from which all the proceeds go to Christian Aid. He's only got one left though - one of you should definitely buy it. After you've done that, check out his blog and tell all your friends about him.
THREE.
I mentioned Sally Archer in my WOMAD section and now she's getting a whole section to herself. Sally is an incredible soul singer who will one day be super famous and people will cover her songs on youtube and set them as their ringtones. You should totally go to her myspace and listen to her tracks. She's playing at Fieldview festival this weekend and will soon be releasing an EP. Keep an eye on her MYSPACE for details of gigs and exciting news. She is great. Here's a video of her performing at the Cheltenham Jazz Festival.
FOUR
My next top thing of this week is Luke Leighfield. He is also an incred musician, and his album Have You Got Heart? is one of the best things to happen to me ever. You should definitely download it because it is very brilliant. He is also really funny and nice. BUT he also sold me series one of Prison Break which I started watching yesterday - oh em geeeez, it is very good. I'm such a sucker for american television, it's embarrassing. So that's my new thing until season seven of House comes out, coz obvi that's going to be amaze. Thank you Luke for selling me Prison Break, and thank you for making good music because I like it a lot.
FIVE.
Pin. She ate three bowls of cat food yesterday because there are people staying with us and they thought they should feed the cats (pause for a moment of incredulity)
....
So they put two bowls down and she ate them all. I haven't seen her all morning, she's probably still in bed, nursing her binge-eating hangover.
We also had to take her to the vet which was a hilarious venture. Although, now she is slimmer, she fits much more comfortably in the box, but she protests vocally and loudly.
